Education of
Children Living in Care

Education is our Future

Raising Self-Esteem of Learners

Definition: Self-esteem derives from a person's sense of their own worthiness and competence. It comprises many aspects, but generally involves some comparisons by the individual between how they would like to be and how they think they actually measure up.

How can you tell if a child has low self-esteem?

Measuring self-esteem can be difficult as we might feel good about ourselves in one aspect of our lives, but not so good in others. One informal way of measuring self-esteem in children is to ask about how they feel in the different aspects of their life, such as: school, sports and PE, social acceptance, behavioural conduct and physical appearance.

You will often pick up on cues from a child regarding how they feel about themselves, for example:

Negative comments about themselves or their work,
Reluctant to accept praise,
Seeking constant reassurance,
Reluctance to attempt tasks, or constantly saying "I can't",
Is unable to identify a strength,
Often puts themselves down,
Has difficulties with friendships.

Strategies for developing self-esteem

Use a warm positive approach with the child and invest time in your relationship.
Try to make praise specific, identifying exactly what it is that the child has done well. For example, instead of "Well done that is great", you might say, "I am really pleased because when you had finished playing with your toys you put them all away without being asked".
Try to ensure that you use praise that is meaningful to the child. A child who is constantly praised or who devalues their efforts will not find the praise encouraging. For example, a child who thinks their piece of writing is rubbish will not find general praise encouraging but might be helped by more specific comments that also reflect you understand how he or she feels. (e.g. instead of "that's a good effort, I think it's really wonderful" you might say "I understand that its not as good as you want it to be, but your spelling is better than last time" or "you've remembered four out of the five points from the book").
Praise the effort not just the result.
Try to give praise in the ration of 6 pieces of praise to every 1 criticism. Where possible give praise immediately, but even doing it later is better than not at all.
Try not to mix praise with criticism. If a child has low self-esteem they will tend to only remember the negative comment.
Reward the child with your attention and time. Find pleasurable things to do together.
Label the behaviour not the child. For example, "Pushing Tim is dangerous" rather than, "You are such a bully – Don't do that".
Give the child responsibility within the household.
Identifying the child's strengths and providing them with opportunities for success and chances to demonstrate these areas of strength, possibly through helping a younger child.
Encouraging the child's interests and participation in spare time activities, after school clubs etc. This might include: sport, cultural pursuits (drama, dance, choir) or care of animals. Through this encourage their development of friendships with other children.
Listen to the child and try not to interrupt. Try to set aside at least ten minutes daily to give them uninterrupted individual time (without answering the phone or being interrupted by other people etc).
Help the child to set realistic goals and targets. Helping to set realistic targets ensures success and can be built on. Introduce charts to help measure their progress.
Be positive about mistakes. Encourage the fact that making mistakes is part of learning and developing.

Education of Children Living in Care

Education is our Future

Raising Self-Esteem of Learners

How can you tell if a child has low self-esteem?

Strategies for developing self-esteem

Education of
Children Living in Care